I am pleasantly surprised.
Upon my husband losing his job two months ago, to him becoming a teacher and us having to move (the seventh move we have had in our five years of marriage), I was at first feeling sorry for myself. We had been in our first house for only 14 months when we had to move as my husband's job was 5 hours away. Thankfully, we were able to rent it out to family members did did not have to sell, but part of me felt like we had still lost.
Fast forward to now. We are renting out a mobile home in a very country area and I am happy. I thought I was happy in suburbia, but I realize now how much stress was put on me in that setting to perform simply as a mother. There is constant attention put on your children and your home. Everyone is trying to be Martha Stewart and they are doing it all on credit cards. It is absolutely INSANE, and I am happy to be taking a breather. I am happy to be in a place where people will not judge me for having mismatched furniture. I am happy to be in a place where I do not feel judged at every red light for the car I drive, or the constant pressure mothers feel to take their kids every day to one of the following:
a) the park
b) trampoline park
c) inflatable jumping park
d) play date
e) church event
f) Chik Fil A
If all of the above fail, it's off to Target, the mother's entertainment. (Read $$)
The amount of money it takes to, "keep up with the Jones," and to simply keep oneself entertained is ridiculous. $30-$40 a day for you and your kids options (b) and (c) make them a once in a while affair. Texas weather makes (a) an option only during a few select weeks out of the year, and (d) requires coordination which sometimes happens, but everyone is also afraid to have people come over unless their houses are spotless. With kids, let's be honest, this is hardly the case.
In the past, kids simply played outside with their neighborhood friends. It was as simple as asking mom if you could go to so-and-so's house, her saying yes, and you walking down the street and doing it. Now, everyone is afraid of everyone. You don't see neighborhood friends playing together simply because they live on the same street. Play has turned inside as parents are afraid of their children ending up on the news if they allow them to play unsupervised.
Another point - There is always a holiday. It used to be that people decorated and got ready for Christmas. Thanksgiving simply required a meal and dressing up, and Easter had some festivities as well. Today, suburban mothers are expected to dress up their homes for Valentine's Day, Father's Day, St. Patty's Day, Fourth of July, Summertime (in itself a holiday), and Halloween. There is this unspoken contest between members of suburbia to outdo their peers in the festivities for any and all of the above "celebrations," and it gets even worse for Christmas. I cannot tell you how much we have spent on Christmas decorations, it would make me cry. We always talk about the dichotomy of how a season that is supposed to be about giving and goodwill to your fellow person can turn into a commercial conquest.
Don't get me wrong, Christmas shopping is fun. But the line is crossed when you have to pull out the credit card. The line is crossed when you start buying toys for your kids not because they need it, but because you want to have more presents under the tree. These are the toys that will become clutter for the next year until you surrender them to the Goodwill. The line is crossed when we stop looking forward to Christmas and we start resenting the amount of time, money, and labor that it will cost.
I am thankful to be in this mobile home because it is a shelter from all of this madness. We moved in on a Tuesday night and had three very happy days before we drove back to Dallas for a second round of household goods, not the least of which included all of our daughters' books and toys. We filled three very large boxes with these goods and were the majority of the trip. What before had been a peaceful safe haven has now turned into a chaotic mess. I have half a mind to not even unpack the last box and simply give it to charity. We would be much better off for it. I kid you not, 50% off this box is toys that are no large than 3 inches. It frightens me to open this box. I do not want to introduce this chaos to my environment!!!
Ahh, suburbia. You sell a dream, but you sell a whole lot more than that. If I could tell you the amount of door-to-door salespeople we got within our first year of living here, it was at least one a week. People everywhere see this area as a profitable money pit. You have many educated, young families together and that smells like money. I am so glad to be getting a break from all of this and to be analyzing our finances. While not all of our debt is a result of shopping (about half is from medical bills), I am happy to be taking a step back, slashing our living expenses and getting out of debt! There is something so freeing from separating yourself from the hype and being independent for a while.
Andy is doing very well at his job. They are already talking about having him go to physics training next summer, which implies that they will hire him on again. Even though I was at first afraid of this happening, I am beginning to embrace the change. There is something in the air here. It is opportunity. Instead of being in a place where every move we make puts money into someone else's pocket, this is a place where we can create our own fortunes. I am excited to see where this place takes us.
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