Everyone is trying to establish dominance.
There is always strife, always fighting,
Always a debate
Always anger toward the television
Of a sports broadcast that has nothing to do with your life
Yet you feel so strongly,
A personal attack
You curse and you are ugly
In front of my children,
and it is making them ugly.
But we have all been like this, haven't we?
We have all been ugly with each other
Unable to sit back and enjoy our company
We are always striving for more
Striving to be better
We should strive for fellowship
For the enjoyment of life
For the sweet satisfaction a pleasant day brings
We should strive for camaraderie and peace
In the end, no one really cares about your opinion.
We will tolerate it, if it means we can have peace.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
List of Things I Like to Do
I recently read that it is important to create a list of things you like to do so that you can be your own best friend in the midst of chaos. Life isn't that chaotic, it's just how you look at it. I don't consider this a "bad" year, it was the year Andy got out of the Navy and got a really good job, it will be the year that I get a job. It is the year that we found our home. It is the year that we spent quality time in California and I got to spend time with my babies at the beach. It is the year that Andy got his bachelor's degree, and I got back in school to pursue mine. 2012 has been and will continue to be a great year.
1. Go shopping. A lot. I like having all the best makeup, clothes, and hair.
2. Read. I enjoy reading magazines or anything to help me be a better person. I am still looking for a good fictional book. All the ones I try to read I just can't get lost in.
3. Exercise. I have been diagnosed with depression several times and something that the psychiatrist always recommends is exercise. It releases endorphins to the brain. Whenever I am unhappy I get the kids in the stroller and go for a walk. Even better, someone else watches them so I can go for a run.
4. Cook. This is a new one for me. Ever since I got Sophie Uliano's book The Gorgeously Green Diet, I have actually found a source for good food recipes. You'd be surprised how many crap recipes there are out there. They make you look bad! Most of the recipes I get off the internet that aren't from foodnetwork.com are crap. Take note!
5. Spend time with the kids. Yesterday was a wonderful fall day spent with Emma and Elizabeth. I think the fact that I was gone most of the day before made it all the more sweeter. This is a double-edged sword, though, because today was horrible. Yesterday my brain was refreshed for having gone on that interview and just being alone for a while. Being able to drive by myself and listen to my own music, not having to hand food and water bottles to the car seats behind me while I drive, or answer a hundred of the same questions. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I also enjoy thinking clearly. The time I spend with them after having a mental break is much more productive and just plain fun then when I am home with them every day all day for extended periods of time.
5. Writing. I love writing. I feel more confident expressing myself through writing than I do verbally. It is second nature to me. I enjoy sitting at the computer and typing whatever comes to mind. It is a creative process of warm windings of the mind sending signals down to my scattering fingertips as they skate across the keyboard. I love seeing the product on the screen. I get frustrated when I have to write on paper these days because I can type so much faster.
6. Walks in the park. I like spending time with just Andy and I. I love having one-on-one conversations. I don't do very well in groups as I do one-on-one, I feel crowded out. This is why I always enjoyed having one best friend as opposed to a group of friends. Lots of people make me frustrated.
7. Going to museums.
8. Going to concerts, especially at the Hollywood Bowl.
9. Walking in the city at night.
10. Doing DIY beauty treatments.
1. Go shopping. A lot. I like having all the best makeup, clothes, and hair.
2. Read. I enjoy reading magazines or anything to help me be a better person. I am still looking for a good fictional book. All the ones I try to read I just can't get lost in.
3. Exercise. I have been diagnosed with depression several times and something that the psychiatrist always recommends is exercise. It releases endorphins to the brain. Whenever I am unhappy I get the kids in the stroller and go for a walk. Even better, someone else watches them so I can go for a run.
4. Cook. This is a new one for me. Ever since I got Sophie Uliano's book The Gorgeously Green Diet, I have actually found a source for good food recipes. You'd be surprised how many crap recipes there are out there. They make you look bad! Most of the recipes I get off the internet that aren't from foodnetwork.com are crap. Take note!
5. Spend time with the kids. Yesterday was a wonderful fall day spent with Emma and Elizabeth. I think the fact that I was gone most of the day before made it all the more sweeter. This is a double-edged sword, though, because today was horrible. Yesterday my brain was refreshed for having gone on that interview and just being alone for a while. Being able to drive by myself and listen to my own music, not having to hand food and water bottles to the car seats behind me while I drive, or answer a hundred of the same questions. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, but I also enjoy thinking clearly. The time I spend with them after having a mental break is much more productive and just plain fun then when I am home with them every day all day for extended periods of time.
5. Writing. I love writing. I feel more confident expressing myself through writing than I do verbally. It is second nature to me. I enjoy sitting at the computer and typing whatever comes to mind. It is a creative process of warm windings of the mind sending signals down to my scattering fingertips as they skate across the keyboard. I love seeing the product on the screen. I get frustrated when I have to write on paper these days because I can type so much faster.
6. Walks in the park. I like spending time with just Andy and I. I love having one-on-one conversations. I don't do very well in groups as I do one-on-one, I feel crowded out. This is why I always enjoyed having one best friend as opposed to a group of friends. Lots of people make me frustrated.
7. Going to museums.
8. Going to concerts, especially at the Hollywood Bowl.
9. Walking in the city at night.
10. Doing DIY beauty treatments.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Blahnd
I can't feel anything. That is what you feel while listening to electronica after depression. Blahnd (yes, that is a purposeful mispelling). If anyone were to walk into this room right now I would have nothing to say, except for the boring facts and complaints about the day. I don't want that to be what my life is about. I don't want to have nothing to say. Yet lately that's all I've got.
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