I am sitting in the hospital. It is Friday night. We will probably not get discharged until Sunday morning. I want to take this time to gather some of my thoughts into a memory. Andy is spending the night at home with Emma tonight, so it's just me and Elizabeth!
She is so amazing. Definitely different than Emma. Everything about her is different, and yet I see some similarities. I see some Lorenz in her (my mother's family), and Andy says that she looks like Stephanie when she was a newborn. She was 9 lbs. 2 oz. - my exact birthweight! She has very long fingers with very dainty fingernails and a very small mouth. :) She is lying under the blue LED lights right now and looks sooo comfy... like she was in a tanning bed!
It is nice for things to be quiet and for me to be away from home so that I can actually write, but I feel lonely at the same time. Why is it that we always want what we can't have? When people are here you think about how you are tired and want to sleep, yet when they leave you wish you weren't alone. We humans are puzzling creatures.
I've been reading Sherlock Holmes and it's very good. I'll probably read some more in a second, as I've run out of things to write.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Sitting Waiting Wishing!
So, we are just sitting here waiting to have this baby. I seriously never thought it would take this long. I guess I just assumed that since Emma came at 38 weeks 4 days that Elizabeth would come early, too. I am due on Monday and still no signs of anything. I am too comfortable! I know that God's timing is perfect, though, so I am trying to enjoy the little things. Andy has started school and is stressing out about Calculus, so I think that at the very least I will wait until he is done to start school again. At the very most this should only take about 6 months.
To me, Emma seems like such a big girl compared to the baby from which she's grown, but when I see her interract with other children I realize just how small she really is. People still call her, "baby," which I suppose is accurate for a 1 year old. :) If Elizabeth waits until at least the 12th, they will be 21 months apart.
I have been growing with the Lord a lot lately, just reading my Bible more regularly and what not. It is helpful for the times that I feel lonely or unsure about the future. One thing that really stressed me out was setting up our Cash Flow Analysis. I seriously started sweating and hyperventilating just going through all the numbers. I had to go to my Bible and find this verse:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34
To me, Emma seems like such a big girl compared to the baby from which she's grown, but when I see her interract with other children I realize just how small she really is. People still call her, "baby," which I suppose is accurate for a 1 year old. :) If Elizabeth waits until at least the 12th, they will be 21 months apart.
I have been growing with the Lord a lot lately, just reading my Bible more regularly and what not. It is helpful for the times that I feel lonely or unsure about the future. One thing that really stressed me out was setting up our Cash Flow Analysis. I seriously started sweating and hyperventilating just going through all the numbers. I had to go to my Bible and find this verse:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:25-34
Monday, July 4, 2011
Deciding not to go back to school, Memories of Emma
I have decided not to go back to school and to possibly not pursue the Early Education degree. I simply do not feel like this is the right time for me to be going back, nor am I sure that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. The orientation class was stressful enough, and that was only one week. I do not think that I would be able to do it, with all the student teaching requirements, field experience, and lectures, while having a newborn and a toddler to take care of and potentially moving in September in VA and then again to CA whenever Andy gets out of the Navy (in about a year). I do not think it would be wise to start something if I cannot foresee finishing it, since the standards are so different from VA to CA.
Anyway, now that that is behind me, I want to write down some things that I will remember about Emma before our lives are forever changed by the coming of her wonderful sister, Elizabeth!
I love cuddling with Emma to go to sleep. She always puts her arms around my neck and our cheeks touch until she goes to sleep. I used to think that quitting nursing would be impossible, but found that it was just this closeness that she needed.
She likes to spin around in circles until she falls down.
Whenever she gets her "Surprised face" she looks around to see everyone else do it in the room and then erupts into laughter.
She loves the Disney princesses and exclaims how they are, "So pretty!"
She loves Ni Hao Kai Lan.
We watch Youtube videos (it used to be NHKL, until the TV was moved to her room) before we go to bed. The favorite is her Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and when the star and the owl hold hands and start playing in the clouds she always looks down and clasps her hands together.
She loves Andy and Nanna and I very much and always says, "I TOO," which means, "I love you, too!"
She loves bubbles.
She loves clothes and shoes. One of her favorite words is, "Shoes!"
She loves the water, the pool, and rocks.
She loves eating rice and the marshmallows out of Lucky Charms, not together. :)
She has started to become more photogenic by smiling and posing for the camera.
She is talking soo much now... I feel like I can have real conversations with her!
I feel like I should tie up this list. Add anything you want to remember about Emma right now!
Anyway, now that that is behind me, I want to write down some things that I will remember about Emma before our lives are forever changed by the coming of her wonderful sister, Elizabeth!
I love cuddling with Emma to go to sleep. She always puts her arms around my neck and our cheeks touch until she goes to sleep. I used to think that quitting nursing would be impossible, but found that it was just this closeness that she needed.
She likes to spin around in circles until she falls down.
Whenever she gets her "Surprised face" she looks around to see everyone else do it in the room and then erupts into laughter.
She loves the Disney princesses and exclaims how they are, "So pretty!"
She loves Ni Hao Kai Lan.
We watch Youtube videos (it used to be NHKL, until the TV was moved to her room) before we go to bed. The favorite is her Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and when the star and the owl hold hands and start playing in the clouds she always looks down and clasps her hands together.
She loves Andy and Nanna and I very much and always says, "I TOO," which means, "I love you, too!"
She loves bubbles.
She loves clothes and shoes. One of her favorite words is, "Shoes!"
She loves the water, the pool, and rocks.
She loves eating rice and the marshmallows out of Lucky Charms, not together. :)
She has started to become more photogenic by smiling and posing for the camera.
She is talking soo much now... I feel like I can have real conversations with her!
I feel like I should tie up this list. Add anything you want to remember about Emma right now!
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