In one day, Andy goes back to work and Nick has left for Chicago. It's just me and the bug, which is how it has been in the past when they were both working, but this one feels more final. Who knows how much longer Andy and I will be here (if things go according to plan and he does end up graduating from prototype, we will be here until late-July/early-August), and who knows where we will move after that?
Nick got his orders on Monday. Just a regular day going about his run-of-the-mill, DTP things (DTP is the Department of Transient Personnel and where he has been reporting since he left the program). The military is strange in that way. You will get comfortable somewhere, but, perhaps this is your fault. Unsuspectingly, you'll be doing something normal like complain about the PT you have to attend or some b-s muster, when someone calls you into their office and says, "You're orders are in. You leave Thursday." Which is all well and good. I mean, this is what we all signed up for, wasn't it? But then Andy and Nick joined together with every intention of staying together as long as possible. Perhaps if Nick had stayed in the program... these thoughts keep creeping, but you have to remember. This is the way things are and this is the way things will stay. I can either get on board and search for solutions and look forward to the times we will be together as a family again, or pitifully mourn that which I cannot change.
A certain mourning is necessary, of course. After all, this is the end of a chapter. This is the first time Nick has ever been completely on his own, and I pray for him. I pray that he has the wisdom and attentiveness to take care of the things he needs to take care of, and that he keeps his priorities in order. Ah, but some of these things come only with experience... and that's what growing up is all about anyway, isn't it?
I look at Emma. She can now "walk" with us holding her hands. Hasn't really mastered the crawling stage yet, but I always knew she would walk before she could crawl anyway(or at least closely to each other). I remember watching Emma with Nick a few days ago and saying how every day moves her close to independence, and I suppose that's how it is for all of us. Every day moves us a little further away, scientifically, health-wise, and experientially. This is why it takes a conscientious effort for people to stay together. Relating to each other, reminding ourselves that we aren't all that different from each other. Because if we don't fight for it, there are so many powers longing to blow through and break any bridges we have built.
