I go through waves of frustration and boredom from life. Shock at the horrible atrocities committed by those in control of us that we really have no control over, and shock that the American public and the world simply does not have the sense to care. American forces who were stationed near Benghazi were purposely left out of the loop when it came to information and therefore were not able to help. They could have prevented the second attack in the morning. They should have been given the chance.
Instead, they were purposefully left out of the loop. Why? Well, at a Democratic fundraiser last year, Obama said that he wished we had more disasters like the Boston marathon and the West, Texas explosion, because this is what brings people together to get things done. On one hand, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt and I can sort of see what he is saying. People can be very productive when they work together, and that takes a common enemy or fear usually. (Groups this large do not form over common interests, and if they do, they just sit around and talk about it, they don't really do anything).
On the other hand, though, did he really just say that? That he wishes we had more disasters?? Does he want a scared public that will allow things to pass that shouldn't have been (like the Patriot Act?). When people are scared, they cannot think. They look for a savior. The government can basically pass anything giving them absolute power to cries of the public to, "Save us!"
So, that happened. And Hilary Clinton lied about the whole Benghazi thing. Then this marine came out as a whistle-blower to the whole thing and no one cared... This should have been larger than Watergate. People actually died, yet I never heard about it. Now, I choose not to watch a lot of news because most of it is meant to instill fear into your life, the other part is propaganda, and a very small part is actually usable information. I figure, if it's important enough, I will hear about it. Andy says he heard about it happening, but either way, it was nowhere close to the public outrage scale that it should have had.
When I think about what it takes to make it in American politics, I get very angry, then scared, then despondent. For anyone to make it to a level high enough to make any sort of difference, a wide amount of perversion and manipulation must be achieved. They have lied, gone against their conscience, been bought, and in Hilary Clinton's case, actually made sure that people died and then lied about it. It disgusts me that these are the people running our country, that are supposedly representing us. I suppose the idea of representation is as naive as the concept of a civil servant. The only people politicians represent are the people who pay them.
But what is the #1 "story" on Facebook right now? Friggin Duck Dynasty. I swear I am going to scream at the next person who brings up that stupid show. I really don't care if someone made rude statements about a group of people. Was it nice? No, and I'm sure if I were gay that I would be very offended, I am offended for them. Why don't we pay attention to the bill that was just passed that makes it legal for the government to kill its own citizens if it has reason enough to believe that they are a threat? Because that just happened. Oh, you didn't hear about it? We were all making duck calls. Some say that the timing of these two events is not a coincidence. I just know that a democracy is only as strong as the people that comprise it, and we have a long way to go.
Friday, January 3, 2014
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Year Break From School
Hi universe.
I am going to be taking a year long break from school. This will be a time of self-reflection and giving back to my family. I am sick and tired of being in school 24/7, having to ignore my husband and daughters to write papers and having to do something that my heart truly isn't in. I have always seen myself as a person with a degree, possibly even higher degrees, but right now I don't really know what career, if any, I want for myself. Plus, I realize that the time I have with my daughters right now while they are still young is precious, and I don't want to waste it by being depressed over which major I have to choose, and then tired and cranky from the workload. It all seemed so simple before, but I have realized that school is having more of a negative impact on my life than a positive one. When I go to school I want to know that I am doing it for the right reasons and that I am studying something I am passionate about. I just don't feel that right now.
I will use this year to work on being a better wife and mom. I have been neglecting making dinners, and this will be a goal I will set for myself. I will have dinner on the table every night. Period. I don't even know what I'll do if someone offers to go out to eat, I'll probably just freak out. (lol)
I am doing this because of a fundamental disconnect I have with society. More and more jobs, even the low-paying ones, require ridiculous credentials including a bachelor's degree and 2-5 years experience in the field to even get your foot in the door. What kind of ridiculousness is that? Why should I pay a school ridiculous amounts of money just for them to give me a piece of paper? I eventually want a bachelor's degree, I just think that too many people are in college these days and the government is creating an education bubble, much like the housing bubble. More people are getting qualified for loans that can't afford them -> the bubble will pop soon.
How does this affect me? Well, if I wait a little bit, I might get cheaper loans. :D
Haha... Profiting off the bubble bursting, that is me, but the real reason I am doing this is for the emotional well-being of myself and my family. It is not worth the stress that it puts on me, and I'm not talking about stress from the schoolwork. I can do the work fine, it's the emotional guilt I feel from being in a major that I don't feel strongly about. It's about signing up for a job that I know I will never be exceptional at, and losing my self-value. I love love English, I love reading and writing and could eloquently put my thoughts into paper all day, but who's going to pay me to do that? Nobody.
I have also wanted to study psychology and business marketing. I think that would be interesting as well. For now, though, I am sick of changing majors and afraid of annoying my academic counselor. I don't feel like I have the flexibility to look at all the classes I have taken and see how they are stacking up between my top three majors to see how close I am to each. If I could have my way, I would get like four bachelor's degrees, but that is obviously impractical.
Another reason I need a break is because I really want to work on my shop, Nourishing Naturals. I have never been as excited about something as I was working on that. I have always wanted to work for myself and have my own shop. There is a real awakening in the consumer mindset over what we are putting in and on our bodies. Whole Foods was started as an alternative grocery store for those who wanted healthier alternatives. I want to be the Whole Foods of Sephora, the bath and beauty industry. I want to be the alternative.
Obviously I have a long way to go, but I am going to start with bath teas. Teas you steep in your bath and infuse with essential oils, salts, and dried milk powder (did you know that Cleopatra used to take whole milk baths?).
There are plenty of people who have been successful without a college degree, and plenty that are mundane with one. I don't want to be mundane, and I have to do what I think is right.
Here's to the Year Away From School. Here's to breaking free and thinking for myself. Here's to a mental break and time for self-analysis and discovery. I think I'm going to start a blog just for this endeavor. I am going to write about everything I am doing with my free time and how it has personally impacted me.
Here's to breaking free.
I am going to be taking a year long break from school. This will be a time of self-reflection and giving back to my family. I am sick and tired of being in school 24/7, having to ignore my husband and daughters to write papers and having to do something that my heart truly isn't in. I have always seen myself as a person with a degree, possibly even higher degrees, but right now I don't really know what career, if any, I want for myself. Plus, I realize that the time I have with my daughters right now while they are still young is precious, and I don't want to waste it by being depressed over which major I have to choose, and then tired and cranky from the workload. It all seemed so simple before, but I have realized that school is having more of a negative impact on my life than a positive one. When I go to school I want to know that I am doing it for the right reasons and that I am studying something I am passionate about. I just don't feel that right now.
I will use this year to work on being a better wife and mom. I have been neglecting making dinners, and this will be a goal I will set for myself. I will have dinner on the table every night. Period. I don't even know what I'll do if someone offers to go out to eat, I'll probably just freak out. (lol)
I am doing this because of a fundamental disconnect I have with society. More and more jobs, even the low-paying ones, require ridiculous credentials including a bachelor's degree and 2-5 years experience in the field to even get your foot in the door. What kind of ridiculousness is that? Why should I pay a school ridiculous amounts of money just for them to give me a piece of paper? I eventually want a bachelor's degree, I just think that too many people are in college these days and the government is creating an education bubble, much like the housing bubble. More people are getting qualified for loans that can't afford them -> the bubble will pop soon.
How does this affect me? Well, if I wait a little bit, I might get cheaper loans. :D
Haha... Profiting off the bubble bursting, that is me, but the real reason I am doing this is for the emotional well-being of myself and my family. It is not worth the stress that it puts on me, and I'm not talking about stress from the schoolwork. I can do the work fine, it's the emotional guilt I feel from being in a major that I don't feel strongly about. It's about signing up for a job that I know I will never be exceptional at, and losing my self-value. I love love English, I love reading and writing and could eloquently put my thoughts into paper all day, but who's going to pay me to do that? Nobody.
I have also wanted to study psychology and business marketing. I think that would be interesting as well. For now, though, I am sick of changing majors and afraid of annoying my academic counselor. I don't feel like I have the flexibility to look at all the classes I have taken and see how they are stacking up between my top three majors to see how close I am to each. If I could have my way, I would get like four bachelor's degrees, but that is obviously impractical.
Another reason I need a break is because I really want to work on my shop, Nourishing Naturals. I have never been as excited about something as I was working on that. I have always wanted to work for myself and have my own shop. There is a real awakening in the consumer mindset over what we are putting in and on our bodies. Whole Foods was started as an alternative grocery store for those who wanted healthier alternatives. I want to be the Whole Foods of Sephora, the bath and beauty industry. I want to be the alternative.
Obviously I have a long way to go, but I am going to start with bath teas. Teas you steep in your bath and infuse with essential oils, salts, and dried milk powder (did you know that Cleopatra used to take whole milk baths?).
There are plenty of people who have been successful without a college degree, and plenty that are mundane with one. I don't want to be mundane, and I have to do what I think is right.
Here's to the Year Away From School. Here's to breaking free and thinking for myself. Here's to a mental break and time for self-analysis and discovery. I think I'm going to start a blog just for this endeavor. I am going to write about everything I am doing with my free time and how it has personally impacted me.
Here's to breaking free.
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Nothing to Worry About
I think I just had an epiphany regarding the differences in my life pre-Navy and post-Navy. You see, before the Navy I thought I was the bomb. I was the best there was and no one could tell me different! This was probably why I was afraid to let people close to me, because I didn't want them to see what a mess I really was. As long as people kept a comfortable distance, I could keep up this facade of perfection. Sad, really, and I was...
While in the Navy, I had one of the worst experiences of my entire life, and up until now, I had let it define me. It will be a hard journey coming out from under the oppression I experienced there, and the labels, but now that I have defined my enemy I can defeat it. I have never tried so hard for anything in my entire life than I tried while I was at nuke school in the Navy. It seemed to come so easily to some people, but math just does not come easily to me. I am not dumb in any way, it just takes a few runs with technical things to get through to me, and the accelerated pace of the program did not allow for that. I would stay in the building until it closed at midnight every night to show my dedication to my job and duties in the Navy. I would study in the classroom, then go to quiet study and try to teach myself, then go try to get tutoring done, then go to group study and see if someone else could explain it to me better. The entire time I was one giant ball of angst and worry. I was afraid of failing, but I think my biggest downfall was my fear of what other people thought of me. I was a woman in a man's world. If you think women don't belong in the military, try putting her in a highly technical field where only one out of 11 people on base are female. The odds are stacked against you and I am extremely sensitive to any anti-feminist feelings, as well as the stereotype that women are bad at math and science. I think that this fear and desire took up so much room in my mind that I wasn't allowed to just be. I was fighting so hard to feel like I belonged there that I couldn't focus on the task at hand.
Boot camp was fine. I kept my head down and tried not to stick out ("the nail that sticks out gets hammered," is how the saying goes...). If anyone knew me before the Navy, I definitely stood out. I loved my free personality and wore it as a badge of honor. This new world, however, did not look kindly at rebels. It hated them and I had to hide myself for the first time behind an ugly light blue shirt and high-wasted pants. They were the ugliest things, and they do that on purpose.
The purpose of boot camp is to break you down so that the military can build you back up again into a tool, but I didn't let them do that. Boot camp was easy, boot camp was a joke. The real fire came at nuke school.
I got placed in a class led by Petty Officer English (he wasn't even a Chief! Oldest nuke PO I have ever seen...). By the time this class graduated from A school, he would have masted over half of his class, de-nuking most of them and having several (including myself) leave the Navy completely. In case you're wondering, this is not standard practice. Most Chiefs try to help the students placed under their care, not throw them under the bus.
My first masting came four weeks after I started A school. It was filed under, "failure to obey a direct order," which is basically a catch-all for any time you want to mast someone. My failure was that I could not do the homework no matter how hard I tried. I got into the program based solely on my ASVAB score, a 93, but was never given the Nuke test. Math and science were never my strong point, I knew that going in, but I figured that if I tried hard enough I could do it. I had never failed like this. I was smart enough that whatever I put my mind to I could accomplish. Until now.
If only I could have gone to my room to study. If only I could have Googled it instead of having to rely on the Navy's outdated black and white user manuals that read more like gibberish than usable information. I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO STUDY THE WAY I NEEDED TO STUDY. We had to put NOFORN (stands for no foreign eyes or something like that...) at the top of all of our school papers and anything with this label was not allowed outside the building. All studying had to happen in the building and this was probably my downfall. My whole educational life I had done my studying on my bed in my room. This is where I felt comfortable, this is where I could be alone and think. Being surrounded by strangers all the time, having to sit straight up and conform to military dress and posture at all times while trying to learn difficult material was just too much for me. There were some worksheets that I simply could not do, and I got masted for it.
This is why I get so mad at people who think they know everything. This is why I hate the millenials who are doing everything "right", who look perfect and know all the perfect things to say because they have groomed themselves into being profitable bullshiters. I hate them because that was me pre-Navy. That was me before I was broken down. That was me before I ever failed anything and was told that I was nothing. That was what I used to be. My success was all in my head, which is where it needs to be to come to fruition, but every dream has now been plucked out. I don't even know what to be any more.
I was reading this article "13 Ways Successful People Improve Themselves" and I couldn't even read past the first point, because this is something my pre-Navy self would have read. I would have eaten up every word and immediately started applying them to my life. But now? I have other things to worry about. I am everything I was afraid of becoming, a mother who is too preoccupied with the needs of others to be able to make anything out of herself. Is this selfish? Probably. What all those self-help books don't tell you, though, is that sometimes by sacrificing you find your true value. You find that by making little people and pouring your heart into them every day that you are building the foundation they need to feel safe and secure in a crazy world. The way that I treat my daughters affects the way they see and will treat themselves, and therefore how they will treat the people they meet in the world. A mother's influence is so important to a child. If a child does not feel loved, nurtured, and taken care of, they will never be able to become much of anything in the real world, because they will constantly be looking for things to meet those basic, essential needs. It may seem like the work I am doing now is mundane or boring, but it is essential.
I still live with the shame and guilt that was placed upon me in the Navy. Something changed me then. I never had time to get back to my pre-Navy life, because right after I left the Navy I got pregnant and got married and had my life completely shaken again, more breaking down and building back up. Only now I kind of miss the girl that I was. I miss the girl that would soak in every word from her Vogue and Lucky magazines, then scour catalogs and websites for the same looks within her budget. I miss the girl who loved running because the air in her lungs made her feel free. But there were many things that that girl was missing, too, mainly how to love herself and others. How to be vulnerable and honest. These are things that I have learned lately, I am just wishing to be more in the middle of the two extremes. A little of both, a compelling mix. I want the youth mixed in with the wisdom. Is that so hard?
So the reason that I could not read that article on setting tiny goals for myself to lead to something great down the road is because I have no end in sight. I have no dreams, they have all been plucked out of me. The best I can hope for now is just a good life for myself in the girls. I have dreams such as travelling the world, going on a Disney cruise as a family, I have plenty of dreams for things I want to do with my life, it's just that none of them are related to a career! I used to dream about being a successful businesswoman or something along those lines, but now I see that all I wanted was to impress others. Where is the fulfillment? I want to adopt a young boy. I want to be happy. Always, at the forefront of my mind, this desire for happiness is the greatest goal of my life, and isn't it all of ours? We set goals for ourselves because we think they will make us happy, when what do we have in our lives already that we told ourselves the same things? We need to stop, look around, and be thankful and content for what we already have and the people we get to share them with. This is true happiness. This is why all this chasing and grasping for riches is like grasping for the wind.
Now, this is not to say that you shouldn't try. I am getting my degree in IT because I find it interesting and see much job growth and interesting jobs. A recent job posting I found in the DFW was for an entry-level web developer at a facility that boasted a gym with free personal trainers, coffee bar, Whole Foods delivers lunch every day, great conferences and 401K plans with matching contributions, and health insurance that includes visual, dental, and chiropractic! CHIROPRACTIC! Are you kidding me?! I will work anywhere that includes chiropractic...
All I am saying is that I need to shake off this label that I am a failure. I am NOT a failure, I am a child of God with a purpose and a plan for my life and I will stand up and take it. I will not be silent, I will not be complacent, I will not quit. I will keep going until my name is restored to myself. I will keep going until I have a job that I can be proud of, that my children can be proud of. I will keep pouring myself into my daughters to make sure that they are good people. Life is like water, and where there is stagnant water there is death. You have to keep moving. You have to keep pouring yourself out to see what happens. All you can do is your best job, and if you do that every day, you should have nothing to worry about.
While in the Navy, I had one of the worst experiences of my entire life, and up until now, I had let it define me. It will be a hard journey coming out from under the oppression I experienced there, and the labels, but now that I have defined my enemy I can defeat it. I have never tried so hard for anything in my entire life than I tried while I was at nuke school in the Navy. It seemed to come so easily to some people, but math just does not come easily to me. I am not dumb in any way, it just takes a few runs with technical things to get through to me, and the accelerated pace of the program did not allow for that. I would stay in the building until it closed at midnight every night to show my dedication to my job and duties in the Navy. I would study in the classroom, then go to quiet study and try to teach myself, then go try to get tutoring done, then go to group study and see if someone else could explain it to me better. The entire time I was one giant ball of angst and worry. I was afraid of failing, but I think my biggest downfall was my fear of what other people thought of me. I was a woman in a man's world. If you think women don't belong in the military, try putting her in a highly technical field where only one out of 11 people on base are female. The odds are stacked against you and I am extremely sensitive to any anti-feminist feelings, as well as the stereotype that women are bad at math and science. I think that this fear and desire took up so much room in my mind that I wasn't allowed to just be. I was fighting so hard to feel like I belonged there that I couldn't focus on the task at hand.
Boot camp was fine. I kept my head down and tried not to stick out ("the nail that sticks out gets hammered," is how the saying goes...). If anyone knew me before the Navy, I definitely stood out. I loved my free personality and wore it as a badge of honor. This new world, however, did not look kindly at rebels. It hated them and I had to hide myself for the first time behind an ugly light blue shirt and high-wasted pants. They were the ugliest things, and they do that on purpose.
The purpose of boot camp is to break you down so that the military can build you back up again into a tool, but I didn't let them do that. Boot camp was easy, boot camp was a joke. The real fire came at nuke school.
I got placed in a class led by Petty Officer English (he wasn't even a Chief! Oldest nuke PO I have ever seen...). By the time this class graduated from A school, he would have masted over half of his class, de-nuking most of them and having several (including myself) leave the Navy completely. In case you're wondering, this is not standard practice. Most Chiefs try to help the students placed under their care, not throw them under the bus.
My first masting came four weeks after I started A school. It was filed under, "failure to obey a direct order," which is basically a catch-all for any time you want to mast someone. My failure was that I could not do the homework no matter how hard I tried. I got into the program based solely on my ASVAB score, a 93, but was never given the Nuke test. Math and science were never my strong point, I knew that going in, but I figured that if I tried hard enough I could do it. I had never failed like this. I was smart enough that whatever I put my mind to I could accomplish. Until now.
If only I could have gone to my room to study. If only I could have Googled it instead of having to rely on the Navy's outdated black and white user manuals that read more like gibberish than usable information. I WAS NOT ALLOWED TO STUDY THE WAY I NEEDED TO STUDY. We had to put NOFORN (stands for no foreign eyes or something like that...) at the top of all of our school papers and anything with this label was not allowed outside the building. All studying had to happen in the building and this was probably my downfall. My whole educational life I had done my studying on my bed in my room. This is where I felt comfortable, this is where I could be alone and think. Being surrounded by strangers all the time, having to sit straight up and conform to military dress and posture at all times while trying to learn difficult material was just too much for me. There were some worksheets that I simply could not do, and I got masted for it.
This is why I get so mad at people who think they know everything. This is why I hate the millenials who are doing everything "right", who look perfect and know all the perfect things to say because they have groomed themselves into being profitable bullshiters. I hate them because that was me pre-Navy. That was me before I was broken down. That was me before I ever failed anything and was told that I was nothing. That was what I used to be. My success was all in my head, which is where it needs to be to come to fruition, but every dream has now been plucked out. I don't even know what to be any more.
I was reading this article "13 Ways Successful People Improve Themselves" and I couldn't even read past the first point, because this is something my pre-Navy self would have read. I would have eaten up every word and immediately started applying them to my life. But now? I have other things to worry about. I am everything I was afraid of becoming, a mother who is too preoccupied with the needs of others to be able to make anything out of herself. Is this selfish? Probably. What all those self-help books don't tell you, though, is that sometimes by sacrificing you find your true value. You find that by making little people and pouring your heart into them every day that you are building the foundation they need to feel safe and secure in a crazy world. The way that I treat my daughters affects the way they see and will treat themselves, and therefore how they will treat the people they meet in the world. A mother's influence is so important to a child. If a child does not feel loved, nurtured, and taken care of, they will never be able to become much of anything in the real world, because they will constantly be looking for things to meet those basic, essential needs. It may seem like the work I am doing now is mundane or boring, but it is essential.
I still live with the shame and guilt that was placed upon me in the Navy. Something changed me then. I never had time to get back to my pre-Navy life, because right after I left the Navy I got pregnant and got married and had my life completely shaken again, more breaking down and building back up. Only now I kind of miss the girl that I was. I miss the girl that would soak in every word from her Vogue and Lucky magazines, then scour catalogs and websites for the same looks within her budget. I miss the girl who loved running because the air in her lungs made her feel free. But there were many things that that girl was missing, too, mainly how to love herself and others. How to be vulnerable and honest. These are things that I have learned lately, I am just wishing to be more in the middle of the two extremes. A little of both, a compelling mix. I want the youth mixed in with the wisdom. Is that so hard?
So the reason that I could not read that article on setting tiny goals for myself to lead to something great down the road is because I have no end in sight. I have no dreams, they have all been plucked out of me. The best I can hope for now is just a good life for myself in the girls. I have dreams such as travelling the world, going on a Disney cruise as a family, I have plenty of dreams for things I want to do with my life, it's just that none of them are related to a career! I used to dream about being a successful businesswoman or something along those lines, but now I see that all I wanted was to impress others. Where is the fulfillment? I want to adopt a young boy. I want to be happy. Always, at the forefront of my mind, this desire for happiness is the greatest goal of my life, and isn't it all of ours? We set goals for ourselves because we think they will make us happy, when what do we have in our lives already that we told ourselves the same things? We need to stop, look around, and be thankful and content for what we already have and the people we get to share them with. This is true happiness. This is why all this chasing and grasping for riches is like grasping for the wind.
Now, this is not to say that you shouldn't try. I am getting my degree in IT because I find it interesting and see much job growth and interesting jobs. A recent job posting I found in the DFW was for an entry-level web developer at a facility that boasted a gym with free personal trainers, coffee bar, Whole Foods delivers lunch every day, great conferences and 401K plans with matching contributions, and health insurance that includes visual, dental, and chiropractic! CHIROPRACTIC! Are you kidding me?! I will work anywhere that includes chiropractic...
All I am saying is that I need to shake off this label that I am a failure. I am NOT a failure, I am a child of God with a purpose and a plan for my life and I will stand up and take it. I will not be silent, I will not be complacent, I will not quit. I will keep going until my name is restored to myself. I will keep going until I have a job that I can be proud of, that my children can be proud of. I will keep pouring myself into my daughters to make sure that they are good people. Life is like water, and where there is stagnant water there is death. You have to keep moving. You have to keep pouring yourself out to see what happens. All you can do is your best job, and if you do that every day, you should have nothing to worry about.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Clutter and Greed
Greed is the reason I have so much clutter. Let me explain. You look at earlier cultures and there was not a lot of clutter in their lives. They had what they needed, and that was it. Any excess was preserved and stored if possible for use later, but there was no such thing as impulse shopping. There was no cheap plastic or mass manufacturing of items. There were no holiday decorations except what you could make yourself, and not everyone was trying to sell you something.
Greed is why I have so much clutter. The greed from people who live in a modern society where they can mass produce a wide variety of goods cheaply and easily and then sell it for a profit. I look around at the clutter and it is things that I don't really need but am hesitant to let go. That hesitation will probably only exist 5 more seconds, as the line graph of fed up with clutter vs. attachment to clutter meets and then surpasses the other. Why do we need all these things? The answer is that we don't, but we have people telling us all the time that we do.
You cannot go anywhere without being an audience for an advertisement any more. How much of our life is wasted listening to people telling us what to buy, where to go, and how to live? We are all chasing that fantasy, that staged portrait we saw in a magazine. Yet that portrait is very expensive, and so we settle for the cheaper alternatives that end up populating our houses and defining us. It's time to stop the greed. It's time to define your needs and stick to those. Make your space work for you, not something you saw in a magazine. What works in someone else's space may not necessarily work in yours. Take an analysis of your home and your needs and fashion something that fits both of those. Clean, simple and organized looks way better than over accessorized, no matter how expensive it was.
Let's try turning down the greed a little and figuring out what we can do with what we already have, defining our needs and buying only what we need to make our homes and lives function seamlessly.
*Edit*
I was just doing my normal browsing of facebook (wasting time), when I stumbled upon this article:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11706/10-toxic-products-no-one-needs.html
Can I just say case in point?!!
Greed is why I have so much clutter. The greed from people who live in a modern society where they can mass produce a wide variety of goods cheaply and easily and then sell it for a profit. I look around at the clutter and it is things that I don't really need but am hesitant to let go. That hesitation will probably only exist 5 more seconds, as the line graph of fed up with clutter vs. attachment to clutter meets and then surpasses the other. Why do we need all these things? The answer is that we don't, but we have people telling us all the time that we do.
You cannot go anywhere without being an audience for an advertisement any more. How much of our life is wasted listening to people telling us what to buy, where to go, and how to live? We are all chasing that fantasy, that staged portrait we saw in a magazine. Yet that portrait is very expensive, and so we settle for the cheaper alternatives that end up populating our houses and defining us. It's time to stop the greed. It's time to define your needs and stick to those. Make your space work for you, not something you saw in a magazine. What works in someone else's space may not necessarily work in yours. Take an analysis of your home and your needs and fashion something that fits both of those. Clean, simple and organized looks way better than over accessorized, no matter how expensive it was.
Let's try turning down the greed a little and figuring out what we can do with what we already have, defining our needs and buying only what we need to make our homes and lives function seamlessly.
*Edit*
I was just doing my normal browsing of facebook (wasting time), when I stumbled upon this article:
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11706/10-toxic-products-no-one-needs.html
Can I just say case in point?!!
Monday, November 18, 2013
Women in Christian Leadership
I just read a blog post about a woman lamenting over her desire to minister in the church yet being denied that right because she is a woman. She was writing a book about it, which her author really liked. Lifeway, however, demanded that they remove that section or they would not carry the book (are they really so surprised?). You can read what she wrote here. I left a very well thought out comment that echoes some of my thoughts that have been developing over the past few years. I wanted to preserve it here.
Unfortunately, the Bible echoes the anti-women in leadership message that Lifeway is upholding. This is why I take everything I read with a grain of salt. As far as the first commenter, Jason, I am sorry that people have said that you are not "good enough" for ministry. If you look at many churches today they are trying to be as culturally "relevant" as possible - which from what I've seen means only the beautiful people, or the well-dressed can lead. Everyone else would be bad for their "image."
There are some very anti-women issues I have with the Bible that women in the church just accept because they feel it is their burden to carry, that it somehow makes them holier. It does not, it just makes you silent. Do we forget that the Bible was written by men? "All scripture is God-breathed..." yeah, I can quote the verse. Then, how do you justify, "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety." 1 Timothy 2:11-15. Notice in the beginning of verse 12, Paul says, "I do not permit..." Not God does not permit. Since when did Paul give himself that kind of authority?
Sounds like circular reasoning to me. We say women can't teach because the Bible says so, and Paul validates this theory with the Bible..... Personally, I'm not a fan of Paul. Yes, he did great things for Christ, but he was a bit full of himself for doing so. Oh, I personally won't get married because I want to devote all of my time and energies to the Gospel (fine), but if you are weak enough to give into the carnal flesh, then you can get married (which conflicts with Genesis 9:7 where God commands Noah and his family to, "Be fruitful and multiply"). The very argument many people have for being anti-gay (it doesn't produce children!) Paul was preaching. What if we all took Paul's example? There would be no more Christians after one generation! Thanks, Paul!
As you can see, I have a number of problems with the Bible. I have thought about it for some time, so please, unless you have done the same you should think before you comment. We can blindly believe that all Scripture is God-breathed, that the Holy Spirit came over each of the many writers that form our canon and believe that, that is fine. You can believe anything you want. When you actually think about it, though, the writing of the Bible spanned many thousands of years, and who developed our Canon today? Men. Why were certain things thrown out and others included? When you look at the history of the Bible, it has been man that has largely written and influenced the final copy that we have today. Never mind everything that has been lost in translation... All I'm saying is that the Christian church is based on the Bible as the Word of God, but we have to take this with a grain of salt. Also, as heartbreaking as it is that some are denied ministry for ridiculous reasons, this sentiment towards women is backed up with the Bible and if you are going to call yourself a Christian and are a woman, you might as well sit down, shut up, and place a sheet over your head. After all, according to the Bible, that is your duty. Oh yeah, if you have children, your existence can be sanctified.
In the end, man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. This is something I can agree with and what I believe is the essence of all ministry. If you are careful to preserve your heart, even in the face of such hypocrisy, if you are able to love others as you love yourself, no matter what injustices they may do to you, then you will be like Christ. This is true ministry and something we must all strive for every day.
Unfortunately, the Bible echoes the anti-women in leadership message that Lifeway is upholding. This is why I take everything I read with a grain of salt. As far as the first commenter, Jason, I am sorry that people have said that you are not "good enough" for ministry. If you look at many churches today they are trying to be as culturally "relevant" as possible - which from what I've seen means only the beautiful people, or the well-dressed can lead. Everyone else would be bad for their "image."
There are some very anti-women issues I have with the Bible that women in the church just accept because they feel it is their burden to carry, that it somehow makes them holier. It does not, it just makes you silent. Do we forget that the Bible was written by men? "All scripture is God-breathed..." yeah, I can quote the verse. Then, how do you justify, "A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner. 15 But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety." 1 Timothy 2:11-15. Notice in the beginning of verse 12, Paul says, "I do not permit..." Not God does not permit. Since when did Paul give himself that kind of authority?
Sounds like circular reasoning to me. We say women can't teach because the Bible says so, and Paul validates this theory with the Bible..... Personally, I'm not a fan of Paul. Yes, he did great things for Christ, but he was a bit full of himself for doing so. Oh, I personally won't get married because I want to devote all of my time and energies to the Gospel (fine), but if you are weak enough to give into the carnal flesh, then you can get married (which conflicts with Genesis 9:7 where God commands Noah and his family to, "Be fruitful and multiply"). The very argument many people have for being anti-gay (it doesn't produce children!) Paul was preaching. What if we all took Paul's example? There would be no more Christians after one generation! Thanks, Paul!
As you can see, I have a number of problems with the Bible. I have thought about it for some time, so please, unless you have done the same you should think before you comment. We can blindly believe that all Scripture is God-breathed, that the Holy Spirit came over each of the many writers that form our canon and believe that, that is fine. You can believe anything you want. When you actually think about it, though, the writing of the Bible spanned many thousands of years, and who developed our Canon today? Men. Why were certain things thrown out and others included? When you look at the history of the Bible, it has been man that has largely written and influenced the final copy that we have today. Never mind everything that has been lost in translation... All I'm saying is that the Christian church is based on the Bible as the Word of God, but we have to take this with a grain of salt. Also, as heartbreaking as it is that some are denied ministry for ridiculous reasons, this sentiment towards women is backed up with the Bible and if you are going to call yourself a Christian and are a woman, you might as well sit down, shut up, and place a sheet over your head. After all, according to the Bible, that is your duty. Oh yeah, if you have children, your existence can be sanctified.
In the end, man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart. This is something I can agree with and what I believe is the essence of all ministry. If you are careful to preserve your heart, even in the face of such hypocrisy, if you are able to love others as you love yourself, no matter what injustices they may do to you, then you will be like Christ. This is true ministry and something we must all strive for every day.
Friday, November 1, 2013
3 Words I Hate
The following is a list of words that make me cringe. Words that are so overused in society that they have essentially lost their meaning, yet people wield them as the proverbial sword and expect others to take notice. These words pack a powerful punch yet I believe are not used fairly.
Obese - The meaning of this word has changed significantly. It used to simply mean someone who was extremely overweight from a visual standpoint. Now it simply means someone who has a BMI of 30 or above, or someone who is 20% above their ideal weight. BMI, though, is simply a ratio of someone's height to weight. It does not take into account the amount of muscle vs. fat that comprises a person. Therefore, if someone is extremely muscular (my husband, for example, has the most muscular legs I have ever seen. He is uncomfortable in most pants because they cannot accommodate his muscular thighs). He is also muscular through his shoulders and neck. Using the word "obese" to describe people may be doing more harm than good. For some, it may be a wake up call for them to change their habits. For other, though, it can be insulting and not a good portrayal of their situation, resulting in shame and a dismissal of the intended message. For some, calling them "obese" can further plant their feet into the ground and cause them to more fully commit to their ways.
Furthermore, the definition of "obese" was changed in 1998. As a result, close to 30 million Americans were shifted from "overweight" to "obese."
William Quick adds this analysis:
Hmm... so while "obesity" isn't made up, it is an adjective whose definition has been changed to encompass a much larger group of people unfairly.
Which leads me to my second severely disliked word:
Epidemic- An epidemic in previous generations was used to describe things like cholera, small pox, and the Bubonic Plague. But obesity? The World English Dictionary defines an epidemic as: adj. (esp. of a disease) attacking or affecting many persons simultaneously in a community or area.
Now, is obesity a disease? No. You can't "catch" fat, and while some have genetics that make them more prone to accumulating fat, it is not a completely genetic thing. Being obese or overweight, however, does have an increased association and risk for other diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, etc. But is obesity in itself a disease? No.
If anything, this is simply clever bending of the truth by those who would like to condemn those who are fat. We have seen increased bullying in our society against those who appear overweight. I know, I used to be one. With the beauty ideal increasingly becoming more thin, we as a society have grown a distaste for anyone with a fuller figure. The portrayal on the news of the "American Obesity Epidemic" has often been cited by other countries to poke fun at us and preen their feathers against us. This stance has also been taken in the States by those who do not understand that some people who are "obese" have become so as a result of medical issues or are simply a product of the corrupt food industry. While 70% of disease can be avoided with diet or exercise, just because a person appears overweight does not mean that you know them or can judge them. Why do we condemn people for judging others based on their gender, race, or religion, yet we as a society consider it completely OK to judge someone based on their body? We see a person who is overweight and immediately judge them as lazy, disgusting, pathetic... I am against making blanket statements to any group, and while some of these things may be true on an individual basis, if we have to validate ourselves by judging those around us, I think the change has to come from us first. Perhaps we are afraid of becoming fat. Perhaps we are reminded of that half gallon of ice cream we consumed during a particularly trying time. We see that obese person and we project all of our body fears and issues onto them. We want to persecute them for our fears of death and disease. Meanwhile, these individuals are people, too. Did you know that most people who are actually obese can trace the beginnings of their weight gain to an emotional trauma? The next time you try to judge someone for the way they look, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, "What fault in me is causing me to judge this person?"
Finally, while it might not seem related to the above arguments, my third most hated word is...
CEO- I see this word all the time lately. People like to tout it around to claim the unbased success and tenure it suggests. CEO stands for Chief Executive Officer and is used to describe someone at the head of a company. If someone is the CEO of a large and well-developed company, that is saying a whole lot more than Suzy down the street who started selling Avon and is the CEO of her own company. Come on, people, let's get real. Being a CEO comes with a large amount of responsibility. Just like being the quarterback of a football team, if your team wins, it's your fault. If your team loses, it's your fault. Simply calling yourself "CEO" does not make you successful. Winning makes you successful.
With the large amount of internet start-ups, anyone can call themself a CEO if they start their own company... but this does not mean they are successful. I think they should spend more time trying to make their product successful then preening their feathers to impress the opinions of others.
Obese - The meaning of this word has changed significantly. It used to simply mean someone who was extremely overweight from a visual standpoint. Now it simply means someone who has a BMI of 30 or above, or someone who is 20% above their ideal weight. BMI, though, is simply a ratio of someone's height to weight. It does not take into account the amount of muscle vs. fat that comprises a person. Therefore, if someone is extremely muscular (my husband, for example, has the most muscular legs I have ever seen. He is uncomfortable in most pants because they cannot accommodate his muscular thighs). He is also muscular through his shoulders and neck. Using the word "obese" to describe people may be doing more harm than good. For some, it may be a wake up call for them to change their habits. For other, though, it can be insulting and not a good portrayal of their situation, resulting in shame and a dismissal of the intended message. For some, calling them "obese" can further plant their feet into the ground and cause them to more fully commit to their ways.
Furthermore, the definition of "obese" was changed in 1998. As a result, close to 30 million Americans were shifted from "overweight" to "obese."
William Quick adds this analysis:
According to an American Medical Association report, 14.5 % of Americans in 1980 were obese, a total of 32,700,000 (based on a population of 226,000,000). If, as the above article states, the numbers of obese Americans have "doubled" in the past twenty years, this would mean there are now about 66 million of them. But thirty million of those fatties were created by a change in definition, so by the standards of 1980 [we would calculate an] obesity percentage of 12.85 percent, an actual decrease in obesity percentage since 1980.
Hmm... so while "obesity" isn't made up, it is an adjective whose definition has been changed to encompass a much larger group of people unfairly.
Which leads me to my second severely disliked word:
Epidemic- An epidemic in previous generations was used to describe things like cholera, small pox, and the Bubonic Plague. But obesity? The World English Dictionary defines an epidemic as: adj. (esp. of a disease) attacking or affecting many persons simultaneously in a community or area.
Now, is obesity a disease? No. You can't "catch" fat, and while some have genetics that make them more prone to accumulating fat, it is not a completely genetic thing. Being obese or overweight, however, does have an increased association and risk for other diseases such as diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, etc. But is obesity in itself a disease? No.
If anything, this is simply clever bending of the truth by those who would like to condemn those who are fat. We have seen increased bullying in our society against those who appear overweight. I know, I used to be one. With the beauty ideal increasingly becoming more thin, we as a society have grown a distaste for anyone with a fuller figure. The portrayal on the news of the "American Obesity Epidemic" has often been cited by other countries to poke fun at us and preen their feathers against us. This stance has also been taken in the States by those who do not understand that some people who are "obese" have become so as a result of medical issues or are simply a product of the corrupt food industry. While 70% of disease can be avoided with diet or exercise, just because a person appears overweight does not mean that you know them or can judge them. Why do we condemn people for judging others based on their gender, race, or religion, yet we as a society consider it completely OK to judge someone based on their body? We see a person who is overweight and immediately judge them as lazy, disgusting, pathetic... I am against making blanket statements to any group, and while some of these things may be true on an individual basis, if we have to validate ourselves by judging those around us, I think the change has to come from us first. Perhaps we are afraid of becoming fat. Perhaps we are reminded of that half gallon of ice cream we consumed during a particularly trying time. We see that obese person and we project all of our body fears and issues onto them. We want to persecute them for our fears of death and disease. Meanwhile, these individuals are people, too. Did you know that most people who are actually obese can trace the beginnings of their weight gain to an emotional trauma? The next time you try to judge someone for the way they look, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, "What fault in me is causing me to judge this person?"
Finally, while it might not seem related to the above arguments, my third most hated word is...
CEO- I see this word all the time lately. People like to tout it around to claim the unbased success and tenure it suggests. CEO stands for Chief Executive Officer and is used to describe someone at the head of a company. If someone is the CEO of a large and well-developed company, that is saying a whole lot more than Suzy down the street who started selling Avon and is the CEO of her own company. Come on, people, let's get real. Being a CEO comes with a large amount of responsibility. Just like being the quarterback of a football team, if your team wins, it's your fault. If your team loses, it's your fault. Simply calling yourself "CEO" does not make you successful. Winning makes you successful.
With the large amount of internet start-ups, anyone can call themself a CEO if they start their own company... but this does not mean they are successful. I think they should spend more time trying to make their product successful then preening their feathers to impress the opinions of others.
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