Hillbilly Hell

I have just emerged from hillbilly hell.

I have no one to talk to.  Writing can be like therapy, and I am extremely depressed now.  Everyone says that they are so proud of me because I am graduating from college and I did it all while raising two daughters.  That's fine and good, but graduation wasn't the goal.  A decent living is the goal, and I have yet to reach that.   It's a step in the right direction, one that I know will open many doors for me, but the goal is still elusive.

I have considered going to therapy.  I just don't know how much it will cost, and I really can't justify any cost right now when Andy is walking around with all his health needs.

I just don't know what we did to them.

Yes, I am thankful for everything they did for us.  They let us rent out their place for cheap and had it fully furnished.  We were extremely grateful for that.  Andy warned me before we even got there that they would be control freaks.  He wanted me to stay up in Frisco with the girls for the year.  He wanted to stay with his parents and come visit on the weekends.  This was so outside of what I considered to be OK that I refused.  Family doesn't split up like that.  Ever.  I see now, though, why he considered that in the first place.

When you are accused of doing so many things that aren't even true.  When you are called a "lier" by an idiot who cannot even spell the word.  My god, it has been awful.

I could handle the moving out to the boonies and living in a mobile home.  It was only temporary, I would tell myself, this was like a long vacation (ha!).  I was actually glad to be alone with my family for the first time in a long time.  This soon left, though, and I realized that I was stuck in the middle of the mosquito-infested woods with two little girls and nothing to do.  It was very depressing, and I had to get out.  It was around that time that Andy's school offered me a job, so I took it.

The job is an hour away, so we wake the girls up every morning.  Emma is going to Pre-K and Lizzie first went to a daycare across the street from the high school where we work, and then when that didn't work out, she would stay with our next-door neighbors.  It's funny how before I started working I would try to get our kids together for a playgroup.  What did I get in return?  The rudest look like I was crazy.  Frisco and Splendora are two very different places.

I don't understand how you can live next door to someone for so long, how you are both stay-at-home moms with young children, how your husbands were both best friends in high school and how you can not become friends?  I tried.  This woman is straight up evil.

I always had my doubts about her goodness.  She always seemed nice, but niceness can be used as a fake veil.  A very, very thin veil.  Truly nice people don't throw temper tantrums about minor things.  Apparently, by getting packages delivered to the place where we were staying and paying rent, we were "using their mailbox."  I don't think she knows how to use words, because that clearly makes no sense.  It is not my fault if the mailman is nice and delivers the paper mail with the boxes.  Get a freaking mailbox!

I don't think I will ever understand why this was such a big deal.  It is so bizarre I'm sure it will be comical in a couple years.  Now, though, I am still in shell shock.

On Friday after work, we drove home to finish packing up and cleaning the place.  Keep in mind we had been traveling up to Frisco to move our things for the past three weeks, and this weekend is the fourth.  We are in the middle of packing when we receive a very loud and rude knock on the door.  It is Michelle and she wants rent.  Fine.  We were only there for 7 out of the 31 days of the month, so I tell Andy to pro-rate it for that amount.  He says that he might just pay the full month because he doesn't want any trouble.  I say that that's ridiculous.  Once again, I overestimated the sanity of these people.

Andy hands her a check for the pro-rated amount, plus an extra $100 to cover anything that they might find "broken" with the place (more on that later...).  She starts throwing a conniption fit and calls Linda immediately, claiming that we were trying to "sneak out" while they were going camping.
1) We didn't even remember that they were going camping.
2) They really think that the world revolves around them
3) We were simply taking advantage of the 3-day weekend just like everybody else!  Really!

Sneaking out?  If we were "sneaking out," we must be the worst ninjas ever... I mean seriously.



All of this because I finally spoke up for ourselves last week when Linda was complaining about "trash."  She and Michelle must think that we have nothing better to do then to leave from Liberty (an hour away), or Frisco (4 hours away) to go pick up the trash that their dogs rip open after we put it out.  It never fails!  We put our trash out, and their stupid dogs come over, rip open the bags and go through everything, making a huge mess.  Now, let me ask you something, if your neighbor's dog made a mess on your property whose responsibility would it be to clean it up?  It would be completely unfathomable for the neighbor to text you while you were at work asking you to come clean it up ASAP because it wouldn't be your responsibility!  It would be the responsibility of the dog owner!  Either build a fence, put it on a leash, or put it inside.  Several people have told me that I should call animal control, but I wouldn't do that.

Anyway, so last week after driving the four hours to Frisco, I had just laid my head on my pillow when I hear the annoying "ding" of my phone alerting me to a new text message.  Who is it?  Linda.  Bitching about the trash.  And she couldn't even spell my fucking name right.  "Andy and Kristin" it read.  Really?  I've been married to Andy for almost 6 years now.  We have been renting from you for six months, giving you checks with my name clearly spelled and we are Facebook friends.  How can you not spell my fucking name?

The first text I send her says, "My name is Kristen."

I don't know how they could not understand what I was saying, but she then sent a stupid text about it being a group message yada yada, I don't even think she understands what I am saying.

I swear, it's so stupid, I can't talk to it.

I then rationally explain everything I have been wanting to say for weeks.  I say what should be obvious, that if your dog makes a mess of someone else's property that it is your responsibility to clean it up.  I swear, these people make me feel like a genius.

She then replies by going off the handle like a stupid redneck would.  "Oh, and I haven't cashed all of your checks, you're welcome!"  Fuck you, bitch.  You held on to all of our checks for 5 1/2 months before you decided to start cashing them.  We had no clue what was going on.  That is not a nice thing to do for someone.   You hung on to them and told us nothing.  We were left in limbo wondering if they were going to go through or not.  We thought, "Maybe she's being nice!" but there really was no way to tell.  And how the fuck did your bank allow you to deposit expired checks?!!  Fucking backwoods redneck fucks.

Anyway, so now according to her and Facebook (because nobody ever lies on Facebook...) we are sneaking out in the middle of the night, without paying (we paid everything in full with $100 to spare), and have "trashed the place" (we stayed there until 2:30 AM cleaning and getting everything out of there), we have written "hot checks" (they were fine when we wrote them, almost 6 months before they were actually cashed.  When we got the new jobs the direct deposit went to a different account)  That place was beautiful when we left it.  They never even saw it after we left because they had already left to go camping.  No, instead, they jump to conclusions and blast us on Facebook about it, making themselves look like the saints and us like, well... it's honestly ridiculous the accusations they are throwing around.  The really sad thing is that everyone in Splendora just eats it up.  I really don't care, though, it's a stupid small town.  People need something to talk about.

I'm just sad that it had to end this way.  Michelle coming into our house while we're in the middle of moving and yelling at us so much that my 5-year-old daughter goes into her room, shuts the door, and starts crying.  Michelle yelling at us saying that we should be ashamed.  At what, exactly?  The fact that you can't control us any more?  We fly to California in two weeks, anyway, and we paid you more than we owed you.  You're not missing out on much, here.  You're the screaming banshie in the living room making our daughters cry who should be ashamed.

My favorite was the dog bit.  They said that we couldn't have our dog even if it stayed in its crate during the day and we took it out for walks when we got home.  We really didn't have anywhere else to put it and pleaded with them to let us keep the dog, but they didn't budge.  My mom offered to take care of her in California, but then my Dad stepped in and said no.  So now we really didn't know what to do with her.  Andy's parents finally let her stay with them, more so because there really was no other option.  The dog is now covered in this rash from the stress.  During the winter, their house has no central heat and it would get to be in the 30's in their house, and our poor dog just had to sit there in her crate.

Don't try saying anything about it, though.  Michelle started yelling at me saying that I was stupid.  She yelled, "You are renters!  Renters don't have pets dumba**!"  I could not believe my ears.  This is the girl how got pregnant and married right out of high school, then lived in a mobile home that her in-laws let them stay in for free.  They then bought the house next door when it was in foreclosure.  She has absolute no experience with renting, and she wants to call me dumb?  I know plenty of people who rent and have pets!  It is up to the landlord whether or not they will allow them!  There is not some rule saying that renters can't have pets...

It is just so stupid it hurts.

My other favorite was when she threatened to "punch me in the mouth."  You see, after months and months of their hyper controlling bullshit, I was happy to finally be able to communicate with her about some of the things that were bothering us as well.  You see, any relationship is a two-way street, right?  Her trashiness was so apparent on Friday.  She told Andy that he better tell me about her because she wouldn't be afraid to go over there and punch me in the mouth.  Really?  That's the kind of identity you're going for?  'I'm Michelle and I'll beat you up!'  Really??

It's so immature and pathetic.

You can't talk to these people.  I'm just glad to be out of that hell hole.  They can think whatever they want, I don't even care at this point.  We know what really happened and I know that if it ever came down to it, like if we had to see them in court or something that we would win no problem.  I also comfort myself by imagining them walking into the place when they get back from camping and seeing how clean it is.  I can't believe they thought that we "trashed" the place.  Absolutely ridiculous.  I have been in hillbilly hell for too long!  I walked into Target this morning and a huge grin spread across my face.  I was finally home.