No matter what I do, I never feel good enough. I don't feel like I've "arrived". I am unhappy with my life and person. I feel like no one notices or cares about me. What I do or what happens in my life simply does not matter, I am just static, adding to the noise. This time in Virginia has been really hard as I have been for all intents and purposes alone. Yes, I have the girls, and yes, Andy, but Andy has either been working, in school, preparing for both, or relaxing by playing games. The one friend who I thought I had out here ditched me and the other family we know both work and are always busy. I call my family when I get the chance, but we really have nothing to talk about. Each conversation is just a hurried attempt at an "update" when all I really want is to connect with another human being. It feels so lonely. I really don't know why people like Virginia so much!
At least it will all be over soon. I can't wait to get out of here.
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